My approach to coaching

I coach people using a ‘subpersonality’ aka ‘Parts’ approach. This is based on two important concepts: that everyone has Parts/subpersonalities, and that everyone has a Self (aka the ‘inner self’ or ‘true self’).

The first important concept is that people have different parts inside them, which can be viewed like ‘little people’ living inside us. Each little person (i.e. subpersonality or part) has its own full range of emotions, feelings, talents, behaviours, impulses, desires, own way of communicating.

These Parts do not always agree with each other. It may be quite the contrary! E.g. if you’ve ever had a hard time making up your mind about something because you have two different opinions (like, “part of me wants to go out to the party tonight, part of me wants to stay at home”). Well, that is an example of two different Parts/subpersonalities that don’t agree with each other.

The second important concept is that everyone has a Self. The Self is your seat of consciousness, which is characterised by qualities such as compassion, confidence, curiosity, connectedness, clarity, calm, creativity, patience, caring. You are born with this Self (aka your Inner Wisdom or True Self). The Self is equipped to lead your internal family of Parts. It always feels positively towards the Parts. Through Parts work, you learn to access this Self energy so you can lead and guide your internal family of Parts from this seat of consciousness and inner wisdom.

These are two simple concepts—everyone has parts, everyone has a Self.  Parts work invites people to get to know their Parts. We are trying to develop a relationship with them, understand them and what they do (e.g. rather than just criticising ourselves for eating too much, we instead get to know why we want to overeat and understand what is going for ourselves when we overeat. Listening and hearing about the anxiety that drives us to eat for relief can help us to deal with the underlying anxiety and therefore find a better way to deal with that anxiety).

No Part is ‘bad’; rather, all Parts are welcome! So instead of trying to deal with your anger, or the abstract idea of ‘anger’, try to think of the anger as a Part, like a little person inside of you who feels the anger. We deal with other people all the time – in a similar way, we are using that instinctive ability to deal with external people in an internal way. We are dealing with our Parts in our internal world as if they were people inside of us.

Internal transformation happens when we can lead our lives from our true Self. An added benefit of Parts work is that it can also positively affect our relationship with other people in the external world. Parts work enables you to develop an increased ability to stay centred and handle emotions. You develop more self-love, self-acceptance and less self-judgment as you get to know and understand your Parts. Through working with your Parts, and accessing Self energy, you can begin to recognise and work with your triggers and internal patterns, resulting in more inner peace and harmony.

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