I coach people using a ‘subpersonality’ aka ‘Parts’ approach. This is based on two important concepts: that everyone has Parts/subpersonalities, and that everyone has a Self (aka the ‘inner self’ or ‘true self’). The first important concept is that people have different parts inside them, which can be viewed like ‘little people’ living inside us. Each little person (i.e. subpersonality or part) has its own full range of emotions, feelings, talents, behaviours, impulses, desires, own way of communicating.

We often hear all about our mindset. How by changing our mindset, we can live more happily, reach success, attract a life partner, even beat illness…. But what if changing your mindset is not so simple? Your mind has been with you for a long time. Your mind may have adapted to or been shaped by your life, or perhaps by influences from those around us. We accumulate thoughts and beliefs, and these can have an impact on our present and future.

Life can be downright crappy. No matter how hard you try to avoid pain or difficult times, at some point you’re pretty much guaranteed to face some challenges. When things go belly-up (from financial difficulties, illness, loss, relationship issues…you name it), you may find solace in a bottle of wine every night. Or retail therapy may provide a quick fix. Or perhaps you find throwing yourself into working like a demon does the trick. Whilst you may feel these strategies serve as an effective distraction, being able to tackle life challenges head on can enable you to emerge stronger and more equipped to hurdle future obstacles. Read on to discover tips to help you cope with the 10 feet waves that come crashing into your life from time to time.

“It’s what’s on the inside that matters.” Riiiiiiiight. You may feel this rings true for you intellectually. And you may even wholeheartedly believe this applies to others. But do you really believe this when it comes to your own good self? When you look at yourself in the mirror, can you see past your perceived flaws? You can’t help but see lumpy bits, wrinkles, ugliness, a humongous stomach, cellulite, a crooked nose…the list can feel endless. Feeling dissatisfied with your appearance can affect your self-confidence and impact how you interact in life. Read on to learn steps for helping you get on the path of appreciating yourself even just a little bit more…

“Yeah, sure. I would be happy to come round to yours on Thursday night.” (Internal chatter: “Oh great! /*$^*! Thursday was the only night I have this week for myself. Why is she ALWAYS so demanding?!”) Sound familiar? ‘People-pleasing’ is endemic in society, particularly amongst women. But do not give up hope: there is an antidote to this often-crippling condition. You can free yourself by learning to say “NO!”

Fear is not a trivial matter. So much of our discomfort, difficulties and misery is caused by fear. It can restrict us, imprison us, cause us to cling to a job, a relationship, material possessions, or it can lead us to react harmfully to others. It may seem pathetic or unjustified to you, and be the cause of much frustration. You may be well aware of its root, or you may feel baffled by its very existence. Whatever your situation, read on to find out how you can face your fears head on and gain some control back in life.

A common physical problem for lawyers, and indeed many office workers, is neck, shoulder and/or back pain. In many cases, the cause is sitting for long periods of time in front of a computer, particularly if the body is tense from stress. Read on to find out how you can take just 5 minutes at your desk to stretch out your neck, shoulders and back to help alleviate pain in these areas.

“He is such a good lawyer. AND he’s four years less qualified than me. I’ll NEVER be like him. I should be MUCH better than I am. It’s a miracle I have this job at all! I’m sure I’ll be found out sooner or later.” … Sound familiar? Or perhaps it’s more like: “I am so ugly compared to her. If only I looked like her, I would be SO confident and happy.”… Making comparisons is commonplace, particularly when it comes to intelligence, performance and looks. It can be exhausting. And usually results in a more entrenched inferiority complex. But how can we halt the mental downward spiral ensured from making comparisons? This is a huge topic, and it can certainly take time and effort to change mental habits. But do NOT give up faith! Here are some pointers to set you on your way.

It’s Tuesday evening. You’ve had another day from HELL. And you’re expecting a repeat performance tomorrow. How on earth can you switch off from work so you can enjoy your few hours outside of the office? Here are some tips on how you can successfully separate work from your “non-work life”. And if you don’t recognise the concept of a “non-work life”, then CALL ME – we need to talk.

Multi-tasking can feel like an addiction. We live in a fast-paced, technologically fuelled society. The average American checks social media 17 times a day. Staggered at that number? It’s small compared to an impressive daily average of 40 times for smartphone users in Thailand, Argentina, Mexico and South Africa. Writing this article has certainly been an eye-opener. I was always very proud of my supposed multi-tasking abilities. That was before I learnt that feeling terribly busy and pumped up from juggling several balls simultaneously is not the most efficient use of my time. In fact, this behaviour is to the detriment of my productivity. So I’m going cold-turkey. I’m attempting to finish this article with my phone on airplane mode. Social media, emails and a fresh cup of tea must all wait. Keep calm and carry on…

Without intending to sound pessimistic, I think I can safely predict that you will come across at least one person at work who you perceive as “difficult”. That special someone who is just downright rude, unreasonable, irritating. Someone whose life-purpose appears to be to make our lives hell. Fear not! Here are some practical and effective ways of coping with a difficult client or colleague.

Perfectionism can lead us to achieve great things.  A certain level can be healthy and can be motivating.  But at its worst, it can be a contributor to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, relationship break-downs, obsessive compulsive disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome.  It can mean we are caught in a cycle of self-blame and criticism if our ambitions are not met.  We feel worthless because we are failing to reach (often unattainable) goals.  So how can we deal with the perfectionist self? Awareness of our perfectionism and accompanying self-criticism is the first step.

I spent many years as a stressed-out banking lawyer both in private practice and in-house. I knew I wanted my life to change but it took me years to figure out how. The transformation finally came thanks to a combination of powerful life-coaching, stress-induced illness, continuous self-reflection, financial reserves to back up a sabbatical and a period of no income. A healthy dose of bravery was also necessary. I now work remotely from different locations of my choice around the world. Apparently, the official title is ‘digital nomad’.